Let’s set the stage a bit. Michigan-Arizona was the highest-rated game in the history of KenPom ratings. These are two of the most efficient teams of all time. KenPom had the Wildcats as the third-highest rated team on record, and the Wolverines as the fourth-highest rated team.

It sounds nuts, but makes sense: Michigan and Arizona were a combined 71-5, and those losses were close and exclusively against good teams. They both coasted through the NCAA Tournament, winning every game by double digits.

But from the jump, Michigan was significantly better than Arizona. The Wolverines were up by double digits within six minutes of tip-off.

It was such a big blowout that Boban Marjanovic showed up in Arizona gear and had time to jump ship and locate extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra large Michigan clothing by the end of the game:

And Michigan did it largely without its best player, Yaxel Lendeborg! He suffered an early injury and looked hobbled throughout the second half.

Michigan got to empty its bench! In a Final Four game! Dusty May’s son Charlie got playing time! So did Howard Eisley Jr.! (Sorry, had an opportunity to Remember a Guy, seized it.)

The game felt like another version of a lesson we learn every March. Arizona started three freshmen, two of whom will probably be first-round draft picks in a few months. Meanwhile, Michigan is built out of juniors and seniors. Even in this freshman-dominant college hoops season, we’re going to get a national championship game in which nine of ten starters are upperclassmen.

Sorry, this isn’t a particularly interesting writeup. I think Michigan is going to win the national championship in two days by a lot, and I’m holding back my “holy crap, Michigan is an all-time basketball machine” writing for then.

After all, they’re now the second-highest rated team in KenPom history behind 1999 Duke …

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… which lost to UConn in the national championship game.

The drama started before the fourth quarter. During an in-game interview with ESPN’s Holly Rowe, Auriemma angrily vented about the officiating … and Staley herself.

(Impressive accusing somebody else of ranting and raving and calling people bad names while cursing during your own animated tangent on national TV.)

And after it was clear UConn was going to lose its first game of the season, Auriemma angrily confronted Staley on the sideline just before the final whistle.

Staley remained level-headed during various post-game interviews and press conferences … but did turn to her bench and yell “I WILL BEAT GENO’S ASS!” after the interaction.

Auriemma gave confusing explanations for why he was so angry. Both during after the game, he cited the fact that Sarah Strong, the National Player of the Year, didn’t draw a foul after finishing play with a ripped jersey.

But ESPN’s cameras showed Strong ripping her own jersey in frustration, and in a post-game press conference, Strong said she “ripped it by accident.” Later in the same post-game press conference, Auriemma bafflingly claimed that Strong had not admitted to ripping her own jersey.

Auriemma also claimed that Staley didn’t shake his hand before the game. However, there are plenty of pictures and video of the pre-game handshake — the NCAA literally tweeted a picture of the handshake before the game — and the interaction looked normal!

Auriemma clarified that he felt Staley made him wait too long for the handshake. When a reporter pointed out that photos and videos of the pre-game handshake exist, Auriemma said the reporter “missed the point.”

After consulting the evidence … Geno seems more like a sore loser than a coach with legit gripes. One of the things he got mad about (Strong’s jersey getting ripped by an opponent) didn’t happen, and the other (Staley making Auriemma wait to shake hands) doesn’t seem to have happened, either.

And even if Dawn Staley did make Geno Auriemma wait for his pre-game handshake … why is a pre-game incident making you furious during and after a Final Four game? In the most critical moments of the season, why is some part of your brain so worked up about handshake etiquette? Why is a basketball mastermind losing his mind?

This seems to be a recurring issue for Auriemma, who has 12 national championships and about as many high-profile feuds with prominent female coaches. His years-long battle with Tennessee legend Pat Summitt is the subject of an episode of Secret Base’s Beef History.

The one benefit of Auriemma’s meltdown: We’re all talking about Geno getting mad at Staley instead of the fact that Staley outcoached Geno. South Carolina’s defensive effort forced the Huskies into low-efficiency shots. The Huskies were held under 50 points for the first time since … the 2022 national championship game, exactly four years earlier, against South Carolina, with a similar scoreline and similar stats.

In conclusion: Women’s sports are fun to watch but clearly men are too emotional to coach.